he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
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the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
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Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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