Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
