How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
