2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk