at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.