I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
i dont even know how to be here
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it