Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?