I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?