HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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