I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
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