my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize