Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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