I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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