she sounds like chewbacca in bed
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize