Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
