you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
