New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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