Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
