i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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