When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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