I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
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He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
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