Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Randomize
