everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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