Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
