wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
