Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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