Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
