Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Randomize
