Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Randomize
