Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
