Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Randomize
