he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
