those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
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