awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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