"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
21 Guys Share Their Insane Stripper Stories
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
27 Reasons Why Men Need To Moan More During Sex
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.