i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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