Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Who did Billy Mays play for?
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
A bitchslap is in order.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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