Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize