i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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