Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize