I'm gonna have a badass scar
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
im on a boat
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