I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Can I color on your dick again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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