grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
When did angry sex become our thing?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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