so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Best friends brother. Beat that.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
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