it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
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Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
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She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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