i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
