I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
