Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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