i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
