Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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