he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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