just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
