So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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