Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Randomize
