you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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