My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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