Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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