o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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