HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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