Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I think I have vodka in my lungs
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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