He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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