then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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