Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
