you win again, gameday.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
